Love in the 80’s
Growing up in the 80's and coming of age in the 90's one of my favorite movies had to be "The Wedding Singer" with Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore. Whatever you think of Adam Sandler's movie catalogue, The Wedding Singer was something different. With a setting drawn magnificently from the weirdness that was the 80's, it was nostalgic, sweet, and hilarious.In the movie we have two primary characters who both believe they have found the love of their life.Robbie, (Sandler) is a wedding singer (hence the clever title) engaged to Linda who fails to show up for the wedding as she realizes she wants to be married to someone with higher aspirations than singing.Then there is Julia, (Barrymore) a server at the venue where Robbie performs who is engaged to Glenn, an investor who drives a DeLorean (no word on time travel capabilities) and can afford to buy her one of those fancy "CD players".Of course in all the action of the plot, both Robbie and Julia recognize the lack of real love in the current relationships and genuine love for one another. All sweet and cute and what-not, but there is a real truth seen in these characters.In my last post I ended by saying I would look at how we love in word. Building off of the definition my mentor had me write of love:
Love is the willful behavior of seeking the highest good of another in word, heart, and deed.
Well...I lied. Or I changed my mind. I intended to write a post on each of those three words at the end, but in the end it became one post.At the end of the movie, Linda decides to come back. She claims she still loves Robbie and she can put up with him being a wedding singer. Her words aren't bad, but Robbie (as desperate as he is for romantic love) realizes the words aren't enough. He needs her heart.On the other side, it becomes more and more apparent that Glenn, though he does very loving things has not given his heart. He gets her stuff, he agrees to get married, and like Linda, says the right things. At one point he even shares with Robbie that he's marrying Julia because she was with him before he made his money, so she's trustworthy.Both are left wondering what it would be like to find someone who could love in word, heart, and deed.Insert wedding cliche verse here:
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.Romans 8:4-8a
Love is absolutely revealed in words.Love is absolutely revealed in action.Both of those can be faked. Loving words can hide a hateful heart. Loving actions can cover cold motives.This is why real love has to be more than externals. Our words and deeds are important, what is going on inside holds it all together. Which is where the problem is. Our hearts can be a mess of emotion, motivations, joys, and hurts. It wasn't for no reason that Jeremiah wrote:
The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?Jeremiah 17:9
This is why love takes more than I can give. I need the one who responds to Jeremiah's question to lead me in love.
I the Lord search the heart and test the mindJeremiah 17:10a
God is able to do what I can't and properly "search and test". As I seek God's word I can trust that he is searching and testing. He is doing the work which is beyond me, sorting the genuine from the false, leaving me able to more purely love others day by day. I pray for an increase of love.As Robbie so perfectly puts it near the end of the movie, "See, Billy Idol gets it."By His Grace, For His Glory,Shaun