Love in a cup of coffee
Our family enjoys our coffee. Right now I am enjoying a large cup from one of my favorite shops. As the first one up on the weekends, I usually will get the coffee ready before my wife gets up. I know what you're thinking, that's love. But it's not. Truth is, I would make a pot of coffee even if I were the only one home.
There is a smaller act in all of this which is love. I like a light or medium roast. My wife likes it dark. What kind of coffee is in our cupboard? Dark. That is love. When I go to the store and I can pick any coffee off the shelf, I choose what will bring the greatest joy to my wife, rather than what I would prefer.In my last post I shared a definition of love my mentor pushed me to write,
Love is the willful behavior of seeking the highest good for another in word, heart, and deed.
Love is seeking the highest good for another. To be fair, what coffee I drink isn't a big demonstration of love.The ultimate picture of this is given to us in Jesus.
but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.Romans 5:8 ESV
Our highest good, the best thing we could ever seek or find, is a restored relationship with God. Jesus went to the cross and took the shame, guilt, and fear we were steeped in and washed it away. He gave, that we could receive. That's love.As disciples we are called to Love God and Love People in response to what was done for us. As we seek to love like Jesus, we have to consider what that means, to seek the highest good of another. Turns out the answer is really difficult.Sometimes it's easy...like with coffee. Other times it's beyond our ability to know for sure. My daughter is writing a persuasive essay on the value of spanking. I know for certain she never believed being disciplined was a "highest good" when she was small. Today, she sees it.I never liked that part of parenting. I still don't enjoy having those hard conversations, or having to restrict privileges in response to bad behavior. One of my go to phrases to diffuse an argument is, "Do you think I enjoy this? What would be the easy thing for me to do here?" The answer is always "No. You could let it go." This opens the door for me to ask, "Why do you think I'm doing this then?"Outside of the moments of their fury, my kids know I love them and am always seeking their highest good.Where this gets much harder is as a pastor. Now I'm not just asking what's the highest good for one, but for a congregation. In all things, I am called to love God first, which means His highest good and glory have to come above all. Where you would think this may cause conflict, I have come to realize that seeking God's highest is always the highest good for those under my care.Does that mean everyone sees it and loves it? Nope.Does that mean I get it right every time? No chance.Does it mean that I continue to press forward and do the best I can with what God has given me? Yea, that.What about the guy on the road asking for a handout? What is the highest good for him? Cash, food, keep driving?What about the family member living apart from Jesus? Do I share the gospel even when they don't want to hear it? Do I just love them quietly and pray?What about a culture hostile to scripture, the cross, or any sense of God's authority in this world?I can't answer those questions for you. I struggle to answer those questions for myself. That is the joy in the living. Will we choose to love, to seek another's highest good, even when it costs us something? If that is our purpose, I think we are likely to get it right more than we get it wrong. And when we get it wrong we will own it (that's loving too).Next post will look at what it means to do this in words.By His Grace, For His Glory,Shaun