Who Knows?
There was a time when I wrote every day. As many as tens of people would read my thoughts on life and Jesus. I have made a few attempts to regain this habit over the past several years, but each time the attempt would fizzle after a while. Recently I have felt a conviction that it was time to renew the blog and get to writing again. Maybe even develop thoughts into a form worth publishing so tens of tens could be touched by the words my fingers have to share.
As I looked over the payment button to relaunch the blog, I asked myself, “Self, you know you probably won’t stick with it this time either?” I can be a real jerk to myself. Out of all those who might question me, I am by far the most persistent, inconsiderate, and rude. My finger hovered over the mouse button, the moment of decision at hand. Maybe I should wait longer. Maybe I should not bother. Then a small voice inside asked a different question. “Who knows?”
Who knows what you might do? Who knows what the result might be even if one post is all you ever do? Who knows how long you may go this time? Who knows what stories and thoughts you will leave for your kids if you take the time to put them down?
The loud voice tries to tell me that it knows. Nothing will happen if you take this risk. You’ll be out the $20 for the monthly site fee. You’ll have one more example of when you started and didn’t finish. We’ve been here and done that and your time is wasted.
But that small voice is still there, “But who knows? Do you really?”
I don’t know. I don’t know if I’ll write tomorrow. I don’t know if anyone will read what I write. I don’t know that anything I’ll write here will impact anyone. But I do know I can write something today. I can put my fingers on the keys and let something come out. Even if that something is a self-indulgent exploration of my internal dialogue. I’m writing today.
What does the loud voice in your head tell you not to bother with? Maybe it’s reaching out to someone you’ve hurt or has hurt you to seek restoration. Maybe it’s a creative work. Maybe overcoming a fear. Maybe sharing your faith with a neighbor. I hope you’ll listen to the small voice. The one that questions your assumptions, questions your hesitation and doubt, simply by asking, “Who knows?”
“Haven’t I commanded you: be strong and courageous? Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
Joshua 1:9 CSB