Bad Dreams

This morning I was up just before three. The lingering memory of a dream slipping from my mind. All I could recall for certain was that I had blown it. Though details are almost gone, the feeling of unworthiness and brokenness carried through to the waking.Sleep was gone. My mind now fully awake. As I began to realize the guilt and shame I felt was based on a dream and not reality, I breathed easier. My mind then turned to a hard reality. Regardless of the fiction that was my dream, whatever it was, I was capable of that and worse in real life.I know this because I know my heart. I know this because I have watched other men and women who thought they were above it all make headlines with their mistakes. I know this because God's word tells me the human heart is deceitful above all else.The realization then melted into astonishing gratitude as God's grace entered the morning. Oh the wonder of knowing that despite the darkness of my heart, God's marvelous light can and is driving it out. The grace given in Jesus's death and resurrection causing me to cry out in wonder. (Silently of course, my wife was still sleeping)This Sunday I will be preaching on the first beatitude:

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.-Matthew 5:3 ESV

What a timely reminder this dream was. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, in his studies on the sermon on the mount, reminded me that we have to be emptied before we can be filled. Before we can live a life "in Christ" we must come to see ourselves as we are. We must see our need....our desperate state in need of grace. When we do, God is pleased to give in abundance.

For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.-John 1:16-17 ESV

Despite missing the last few hours of sleep, I am grateful for the reminder of grace. I am thankful for what he has done in order to grant me the gift of his grace upon grace.By His Grace, For His Glory,Shaun